it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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