doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
