I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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