addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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