I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
