he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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