it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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