Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
