I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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