not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
