In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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