The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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