You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
