upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the high leading the old right now
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize