why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
