her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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