Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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