He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
