i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
