That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
