I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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