She is in my trunk
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i was born a porn star she said
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize