She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
