it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
