My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
