What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
