It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
