At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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