Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
