Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
