i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
