dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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