I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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