I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
