You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
