Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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