Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
