i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
