My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
