Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
