I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
