i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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