am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
