Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize