yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Randomize
