I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I think this conversation is over.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.