We're like a lot better than the average bears
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
