conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit