so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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