They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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