Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
My bed smells like the plague
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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