Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
