i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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