is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
whose parrot is this?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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