K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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