I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
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