Where is the hickey?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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