Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
