i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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