i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
