Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
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