what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
