you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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