Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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