Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
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dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
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You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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