one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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