Swine flu. Run for my life!
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
